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18 Februari 2015

Aku dan Cerita Lawak Hari Ini


WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word. 
An earlier discussion had led to an argument
and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, t
he husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?" 
"Yep,"
the wife replied,
"in-laws." 


W O R D S 

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.
30,000 to a man's 15,000. 
The wife replied,
"The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men."
The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
"What?"

                                 
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day,
"I don't know how you can  be  so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded,
"Allow me to explain .
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!" 


THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly,
the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to  wake him at 5:00 AM
for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning,
the man woke up,
only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight.
Furious,
he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said,
"It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." 
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

HUSBAND IN GOOD MOOD.

Darling,
remember 25 years ago I had a rented one room apartment,
a table fan,
a black & white tv
and a cycle to use.
But, at night I used to sleep besides a 25 yr old beautiful girl.
Now I own a luxurious centrally aircond bungalow
4 LED TVs
& a limousine
but I sleep with a 50 yr old woman.

WIFE:
Dont worry.
Just find yourself a 25 yr old beautiful woman.
I will make sure that you go back to your one room rented apartment,
a table fan,
a black & white TV
and cycle in no time!
God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.


HAPPY HOLIDAYS...



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